Still Crippled.

Still crippled, with 127 degrees motion.

Still doing PT twice a week.

I can walk with a slight limp, and almost do stairs normally. My knee still gives out every now and again.
I can't fully straighten or full bend my leg. PT thinks it could be something else, perhaps the injury was misdiagnosed by moron doctor #1.

I'll (hopefully) find out tomorrow if PT got a response from the doctor's office about getting this figured out.
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Back in action...kind of!

I'm still crippled but I'm starting to train again. Wish me luck!
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Dead.

:(
-Courtney

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I've had a good reason to be MIA...

I was working my ass off. Literally.
-Courtney

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Happy Beattheshitouttastuffday!

-Courtney

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!!!

-Courtney

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No news is bad news.

I know, it's been almost a month since I posted last.

You know that saying "no news is good news"?

Well, whoever said that is full of crap.

I haven't posted because I haven't had anything good to post about, so I just said nothing.

I messed up my tailbone, seriously limiting what I can do at the gym, and then I woke up one day with my throat swollen shut.

That forced me to sit at the Urgent Care Center for 3.5 hours while they tried to tell me that despite having a high fever and an elevate white blood cell count, since it wasn't testing positive for mono or strep, it was allergies.

I flipped out on the PA and told her I wasn't leaving without a better diagnosis and a prescription, because even though I didn't go to med school, I know that allergies don't fit those symptoms.

So, they pulled "pharyngitis" out of a hat, and sent me home with a prescription for 20 penicillin.

I went home and spend the next 7 days in bed, only able to eat jello, Gatorade and soggy bread.

Somehow I managed to gain 6 pounds off of those 3 food items, and I was NOT happy.

I went back to real life, back to skating and training, and I could see the difference the 7 days and 6 pounds made. I still feel sluggish and crappy and slow, although I still feel sick, still have a runny nose

I do, however, currently weigh 203.4 pounds (YAY!) But I feel out of shape.
So, back to the gym I go, ready to get my ass kicked

No April fight for me, which isn't a surprise considering all the bullshit I went through, and especially that I'm still sick.

In good news, I passed my first derby assessment, and now I'm working on contact. Yay!
-Courtney

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See, not dead!

Photo by Ian Ameche

Crazy happenings in Courtneyland, courtesy of derby.

Apparently, dislocating your tailbone is possible. And extremely painful.

Yup, I dislocated my tailbone.

Then, I ordered padded shorts SPECIFICALLY made for derby, and I thought he padding was a little skimpy, but I figured, hey, these are made for derby girls by a renowned ass pad maker. They know what they're doing, right?

The answer is no.

I assplanted 4 times during practice last night, and each time I came nowhere close to landing on the pads. FAIL.

However, I did complete my 25 laps in 5 minutes. Yay!

I fell during the endurance laps, and i was so mad when I fell the first time, so I popped back up and promptly fell right back down.

I took a second, then got up and pushed through the screaming waves of pain that were radiating from my ass.

It hurt worse than any ass pain I have had so far, and I had tears streaming down my face, but I kept skating.
After the laps, I had to skate around because my legs were shaking and my ass hurt so effing much.

I decided I was going to ignore my butt and concentrate on counting laps for Tofu.

I did such a good job of ignoring my pain that I forgot about it, and started to do a baseball slide in a slalom relay drill. right as I was sliding into it, I remembered "oh no! my ass!" so I tried to turn out of it.

Yeah.

That didn't really work and I kicked myself in my upper thigh with 2 of my wheels.

It left a mark, so I'll be sure to post pics when it colors up.

So with my broken butt, I can't do most ab exercises, so I've been doing eight billion planks. FML. Planks are the worst. I think Zach is having way too much fun making me do 8 planks an hour.

Yesterday was Valentine's day, and since I'm a wicked tool, I made cute cards for Coach Stylz, and the league founders, Jam & Tofu.

I'll add pics in a few hours, but I think everyone enjoyed spending Valentine's Day with their derby peeps!


oh and apparently Striking Beauties is putting together a fight in April and I'm fighting? More details when I get them...

I'm not dead.

Promise. Actual words and details tomorrow.

Again, I promise!
-Courtney

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Snow ruins everything.

Grr.
-Courtney

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Roller Derby is an addiction.

Last night was Mass Attack Roller Derby 's first fundraiser! We had an awesome time, and even made some money!
We made some good contacts and talked lots of derby!
However all the contact-ing and derby talking went till 2 am, so I was not able to haul my butt out of bed for the 0830 boxing class this am.
If I hadn't had to work job #1 Saturday, I would have gone, but I was seriously sleep deprived and all I wanted was rest.
So, I slacked.
I went to the rink for the open skate session this afternoon, and I realized that my left leg is a bitch.
A bitch in the petty, rat you out, steal your clothes, wash your clothes with lipstick kind of way.

My left knee is the size of china and the color of a really tan smurf. My shin is killing me, and it sucks.

Despite all that, I managed to nail crossovers at a medium speed, and left foot glides! Yay!

My left leg can suck it.
-Courtney

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Keep Calm and Derby On...

Yesterday was Monday.

Monday (briefly) meant instructional sparring day, but now it is Mass Attack Roller Derby practice day!

We (Mass Attack Roller Derby ) finally have a home rink! Silver City Sports Complex is the new home of Mass Attack Roller Derby , and we have Monday night practices there.

Practice last night was pre-mock assessment practice.

In order to skate on a team, you have to prove you can do so safely.

WFTDA has a set of minimum skills a skater must be able to perform in order to join a team. We simply call the test "skills".

So, last night we were prepping for skills, and we had some visiting PRD skaters and some ref/men's league skaters.

They were awesome and set up a track for us to bounce around on, and helped us n00bs with things that need work.

We worked on the non-contact side of things, and I did kinda crappy. I need to work on quite a few things, but I know what I need to work on, so this weekend I will be at the Saturday afternoon and first half of Saturday night's open skate, as well as Sunday's open skate.

In order to pass skills, you need to be able to do 25 laps around the track in 5 minutes. I did 21 without crossovers. Partly because my leg still hurt, and partly because I suck at crossovers...right now.

I really want to pass more than I fail in the mock assessments, so I'm going to work as hard as I can to make that happen.... it's gonna hurt.

Sunday fail.

I woke up at 0720 today, and spent the next 6 minutes wondering just how badly Gretchen would kick my ass if I rolled over and went back to sleep.

I figured it would be a pretty sound ass kicking, so I dragged myself out of bed, scrambled a few eggs, hurriedly ate them, and threw on 6 layers of clothes.

I got to the gym about 15 minutes early and tried (unsuccessfully) to stretch my left calf muscle out.

Skating last night loosened my right leg a bit, and it's not intensely painful now.

My left leg, however, is being a bitch and not playing nice. I face planted a few times at the rink last night cause my muscle just started spazzing on me.

Anyway, I made it through Jaime's class without dying.

I took a few minutes after and got some water, and then started my hour with Gretchen.

Everything hurt. The hammer hurt, ball throws hurt, hell push ups hurt.

I did manage to do 2 30 second side planks, which is a first for me. One bright spot in the day.

Next, we did pads on the ladder-concentrating my foot movement while doing pad work.

It started to kill my leg after a few times down and back, and I apparently looked like I was in pain.

Gretchen: "are you ok?"
Me: "yes."
Gretchen "are you lying?"
Me: "yes."

We stopped after about 25 minutes of work because I was in some serious pain.

I tried stretching my leg out, and Lynds helped me try to work the knot out of my muscle.

That helped a bit, and I've been icy hotting like it's four loko.

It still hurts, but not as badly as it hurt Wednesday night.

Progress?
I hope so.
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wtf

Calves are still totes messed up.

Went out in Prov with Zach and Lynds tonight, and ate a ton of bad food ( fried mozz at Andino's, milkshake, pie and fries at johnny rockets) and made my legs angrier (ice skating at KP).

Skating was fun but I had to stop every lap or so cause my legs are still so tight.

This sucks!
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Dear legs, I HATE YOU.

That is all.

My legs suck. A lot.

My calves have been tight since the jump rope triumph of the 19th. I face planted a few times today because I couldn't walk after getting up from my desk.

I wanted to go do yoga to try to stretch my legs out, but when Koala and I got to the center, the class was full and they only had one class at that time.
I don't know enough yoga to do it on my own, so tonight was a major fail. Legs are still dying.
I'm drinking a ton of water, cause apparently dehydration helps screw up your muscles.

Grr. Off to bed for me. Its supposed to snow super early so ill have to go to real job way early.
Ew.
I <3 sleep.
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Dear legs, I HATE YOU.

That is all.

My legs suck. A lot.

My calves have been tight since the jump rope triumph of the 19th. I face planted a few times today because I couldn't walk after getting up from my desk.

I wanted to go do yoga to try to stretch my legs out, but when Koala and I got to the center, the class was full and they only had one class at that time.
I don't know enough yoga to do it on my own, so tonight was a major fail. Legs are still dying.
I'm drinking a ton of water, cause apparently dehydration helps screw up your muscles.

Grr. Off to bed for me. Its supposed to snow super early so ill have to go to real job way early.
Ew.
I <3 sleep.
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HUZZAH!

I'm awesome.

Well, not as awesome as I would be if I had made 198 by the 15th, but I can now do (slow) crossovers while jump roping!!!!

Considering I haven't jumped rope in forever because it makes my shins curl up and die inside my legs, I think it's pretty damn good.

Menace and Lynds were jumping rope and I got jealous, so I grabbed a rope and started.

My shins started hurting almost immediately, but Menace challenged me to do crossovers.

(crossovers = crossing your hands in front of you while jumping, not as easy as it sounds since you're connected to the rope!)

If I have a short term attainable goal, I will accomplish it. (long term goals are a whole other story)

So, I kept jumping until I did it!

It took a bit, and my shins are ready to crawl up my body and stab me in the face, but I accomplished that much.

Check out the video below to watch me fail a bunch of times, and then finally achieve it!
Caution: I swear a few times in the video because I was angry that I couldn't succeed at first.

Zach, my trusty and always encouraging trainer, if the cameraman you can hear egging me on. 

I decided not to edit the screwed up takes out of the video to remind myself that very rarely do I ever do anything perfectly on the first try. I know, I should know this by now, but I always get frustrated when my I realize I don't have a natural ability to excel at everything in the whole world.

Anyway, I did Zach's and Marcin's classes today, and sparred 2 rounds with Sonic. I got some good punches in on Sonic, but I *need* to concentrate on sitting on my back foot.

Maybe I'll throw some ankle weights on my right leg or something!

Today, at the beginning of Zach's class, we were shadow boxing with weights, and for the first half of the first round, I was boxing southpaw and didn't realize it until I tried to sit on my back leg and it felt weird.

Sometimes, I really do think that I get hit in the head too much.

Not really a fan of winter.

I did Marcin's 5:30 Boxing Drills class yesterday, then ran for 4 pathetic minutes on the treadmill.
I wore about 7 layers, and I was totally gross and sweaty, but no change on the scale.

My shins hurt, but more of a mild ache with occasional sharp pains. Way better than sharp pains all the time!

Today is beattheshitouttastuffday, so I'll get a good workout tonight, hopefully that will lead to the scale showing me a lower numbers.

I have the cold that is going around, and I kind of feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat. Everything hurts (Welcome to my pity party, btw) and I just feel blah.

I feel like a train that was derailed and now I just can't get back on the tracks.


Grr.

15th..

So the 15th has come and gone and I'm not at 198 and I'm pretty pissed about it.

Hence the lack of daily updates. I'm angry that I failed my first benchmark. Grr.

Anyway.

Zach and Marcin both fought last night at the gloves, and they both won, cause they're beasts. Yay TMZ!
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Elephants suck

Still feels like I have an elephant sitting on my chest. It was getting better, but now it feels worse.
I'm going to bed now cause I'm supposed to get called into work early tomm AM (like 0030ish).
My weight is 208, and I'm not happy.
I'm supposed to be at 198 on the 15th.
Grr.
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I am falling apart.

Pretty sure my body is sick of me, because I am falling apart.
I am going to blame my falling apart-ness for my lack of blogging lately, but really it's because I have the memory of a concussed guppyfish and sleep is so much more memorable than blogging.
(it's nothing personal...no wait, it is. I love my bed more than most things.)

My shins are absolute crap. No running for me lately.
My whole "being allergic to my own sweat" thing isn't getting any better, and I'm on new drugs that make me retain water like a camel. So much for making weight. (they also turn my pee neon green, but that doesn't really help me out)

Today, I woke up and it felt like a very obese baby elephant was sitting on the right side of my chest.
The elephant is getting skinnier, but it's still there, and it's pretty damn annoying.

Annnnd the other day I woke up with a bloody sock cause I apparently ripped a blister on my heel open in my sleep. Fail.

Annnyway. Sunday I did Jaime's class and sparred 2 quick rounds, then went home and worked on a super special bday surprise for Tofu, then went to the rink and skated my butt off.

I made Tofu some Cookie Monster Cupcakes!

They were rainbow cakes, cause Tofu <3's rainbows!

I managed to get really comfortable with crossovers (YAY!) and started working on my t-stops.

Jam, Tofu, and da mouse were skating that day, and we also did a pace line, and despite the fact that I took a hard tumble trying to pass Tofu on the outside (I hopped right up and got back in!) I had a ton of fun with it.

Yesterday was the first day of the new advanced class at SB - Instructional Sparring with the mean Canadian....ehm, with Jaime. :D

We (Sonic, Menace, Knuckles, Jaime and Lynds) worked on some awesome stuff, so awesome that my nose still hurts right now. Totes worth it though!

We are expecting a major hell(snow)storm starting very early tomorrow morning, so that means no snow for me, cause I'll be going to bed very soon after I get home from work today.

Sleep>gym.

It sucks, but it;s true. I'm a giant bitch when I don't sleep.

My weight sucks right now, and I have no idea what I can do to improve it. I am already working out like a mad person, and I am eating all my calories.
I need to find a wrench to throw into my gears!

Golden gloves!

Yesterday was night one of the Southern New England Golden Gloves!
Zach won his fight, and Marcin fights next week!

I trained with Gretchen yesterday. I wore 2 pairs of pants and 5 shirts, and I weigh 206 today. Yay, one whole pound. Progress is progress, right?

My abs hurt so good today, but I'm not sure why.

My sense of smell is incredibly messed up, and I have no idea if it's boxing related or not. I made cake and it smells like sausages. I'm going to have someone else smell it before I frost it.
Weird.
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Keys suck.

Yesterday (beattheshitouttastuffday) I did Marcin's Core Conditioning Class, and Zach's Traditional Boxing Class. I was planning on sparring and running afterwards, but my right shin (aka problem shin) started to hurt during the warm up of Marcin's class, so I decided not to run.

I really want to get my running time up, but I also need to take care of my shins.

During Zach's class, we were shadow boxing with weights, and while I was moving around, my head started to feel weird- almost like an out of body dizzy feeling, if that even makes sense.

So, I decided not to spar either.

We were almost at the end of Zach's class when we did a pushup/punch drill.

Basically, you do 2 punches on the bag, then 2 pushups.
4 punches on the bag, 4 pushups.
6 punches on the bag, 6 pushups.

All the way until the round ends, then we take a "break" and do russian twists, or penguins.

Then, we start wherever the fastest person ended. Yesterday, that was Menace with 20 punches/pushups, so we started at 20, and then did 18 punches, 18 pushups, then 16 punches, 16 pushups....all the way to 0.

Somewhere around 16 on the way back down, something in my elbow snapped.

A painful, arm-collapsing snap.

I have no idea what I did, but it hurt.

I sat there rubbing it for a minute, then went  into upper body plyos instead of push ups, per Zach's suggestion.

My elbow didn't hurt too badly after class, but if I moved it a certain way it ached a bit.

I packed up all my stuff and headed home, wanting nothing more than to take a nice, hot shower and collapse into my nice warm bed.

I pulled into the parking lot at home and walked over the the front door, I turned the key, and it came apart in my hand.
I broke my key off in the front door.

I threw my bags down on the sidewalk, and swore under my breath.

I walked backed to my car and grabbed a pair of tiny little jewelry pliers that have been sitting in  my cup holder for a few months, and got the piece of the key out.

I called my faux pa to see if he was home, as he has my spare keys.

He was home, so I drove 20 minutes to his house to grab my keys, and got roped into sitting and talking for a bit. In my mind I just wanted to go home and go to sleep, but I was nice.

I finally left and drove the 20 minutes back to my apartment.
I grabbed all my bags again, and walked to the front door.
I put the key in and tried to turn it....
....and it didn't work.

This time, I said a few expletives quite loudly, and trudged back to my car to call my landlord.

15 minutes later and over and hour after I originally got home, I was able to get into my apartment.

And that is the story of why I hate keys.

After I finally got inside, I weighed myself and the scale said 207.4.
I dropped a few more swears, decided that it was a crappy day, and took a shower and went to bed.

I know, plateaus happen, but they still suck.
I've been around 210 for almost a month now, and I'm incredibly annoyed.
I had hoped that starting to run would help get me off this plateau, but since I'm starting so slowly, it's not doing a damn thing.

However, I have derby practice today, (and a new front door key!) so hopefully today will suck less. :D

207...

I did 8 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, followed by 12 minutes on the bike and then 6 more on the treadmill. I felt like I was going to die both times on the treadmill, and had to reduce my speed from 5.5 to 5.0, but I lasted the whole time, so I will take that as progress.

After the dreadmill, I did a mini circuit. I worked up a decent sweat, and then went home to check my weight. The first time I got on the scale, it said 209.2. I was angry. So, I hopped back on the scale and it said 207. Better, but not great.

I've been floundering around 208 for almost a month now, and it's quite annoying. I dropped 150 calories from my meal plan, seeing as I have lost some weight (150 came from Marcin) and the running is pretty difficult, so I don't understand why oh why my body is being so damn stubborn. (I know, it is *my* body.)
I'm going to try to do 9 minutes on the dreadmill today...at least 8.5. I want to do 1 minute every 2 days... Wish me luck!
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Gah.

I've been discouraged lately due to my inability to workout. That inability to workout has led my weight to a steady plateau of 207.8, 9.8 pounds away from the weight I should be on January 15.

However, today I went to the gym and did Marcin's morning class since I didn't have to go to job #1. Afterwards, I ran for 7 minutes (baby steps) and then hit the bike for 20.
I did not eat well though.
Carbs are my ultimate comfort food, and when I am home with nothing to do (which, thankfully, is rarely) I want to eat all the pasta and graham crackers that reside in my kitchen.
Pasta with tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese or cottage cheese = nom.
Graham crackers with honey = nom.

So, as you can insinuate, my weight stayed at 207.8. Grr. (It was all my fault though)

Tomorrow, I am planning on doing at least an hour, and 8 minutes on the dreadmill.
And maybe ice skating, aka me falling on my ass a lot.
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Something is working.

I don't know what I did, but something is working.
My weight is down to 204.8. (Yay!)
My head is still in serious pain, but I'm taking it easy. I didn't go to the gym today, but I did try to do a circuit at home.
Six push ups into it, I started seeing fuzzy dots, so I stopped.
I have to work job#2 tomorrow, so I probably won't go to the gym since I normally feel like dying after job#2, never mind all this crap going on with my head.
I'm off to count sheep.
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Grrrrrr.

I took Thursday and Friday off because I think I might have a concussion and it actually hurts this time, so I'm going to take it easy.

Apparently, that is secret code for "dear body please gain 3 pounds and shatter any dregs of "can-do" spirit that may have been lingering in the fluid filled cavities of my concussed brain."

Seriously? Stfu. B.
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